A veces escribo...

... Diría que no todo es música en mi vida pero mentiría, hasta mis cuentos tienen que ver con ella, je,je. Esta historia es una "fanfiction" que escribí sobre Paul Banks de Interpol y Hope Sandoval, la cantante de Mazzy Star. Voy a compartirla con ustedes porque aunque es un cuento, es sobre la música y muchas otras cosas más.

Para ser leída con estas dos canciones de Mazzy Star como fondo musical:

Fade Into You

Wild Horses


With a final push, she manages to put the suitcase in front of the door. Hastily takes out the key and opens it. With a quick view to the neat room she deposits the suitcase on the floor, wondering where is Paul. She turns her back to close the door and that's all she can do. Out of nowhere, somebody pushes her into the door and starts raising her skirt till her hips, kissing her neck. She smiles and closes her eyes, letting him go further, looking on her insides as a desperate sailor. All the exhaustion of the road goes away as soon as she feels something hard against her buttocks and the world disappears in a whirlwind...

… Time flies fast in that little space, till there's nothing to do but come back to the reality. Hope tries to catch her breath while turns around to see his face. Paul looks thinner than the last time in Berlin, almost a month ago, and his soft hair covers his face, but she still can see his eyes, all smiling at her. She kisses him, a long kiss to say hi while keeps her arms around his neck.

- "What was that for?"
- "Oh, I just missed you"; he answers and a mischievous smile come to his face.

Hope's eyes go through the room and settle into the coffee table. A computer lies there and without any doubt, there's a picture of somebody else's naked body adorning the screen. She smiles...

- "Porn..."

Paul smiles again and kisses her gently in her forehead, searching for changes in that body that wasn't his for a long month. They just have 2 days now, but as full of possibilities as it always has been since they met. A year ago...

Hope goes to the bathroom and closes the door. In the mirror the image of somebody exhausted receives her and scares her. She thought it would be easy, now she realizes that it will be as hard as it always is...


- "Are you still there?" Says Paul.

She opens the door of the bathroom and goes straight to bed. A long flight of 12 hours is enough to leave anyone exhausted, especially with this kind of reception.

Paul walks toward the bed while he removes all his clothes. She's just about to ask him to stop, but the sight of that body and the mischievous smile of Paul every time he's about to take her, is enough to make her smile and just let him go....


... Hope is watching the ceiling with the eyes wide open, just thinking. Paul finishes his cigarette and then turns his back to try some sleep, but he knows there's something wrong, she's not sleeping as usual. He turns his back and looks at her.

- "What's up?"
- "Nothing".
- "Is everything ok?"
- "Yep"
- "Come on H., tell me".
- "Nothing, really, I'm just exhausted".
- "I know", says Paul and kisses her cheek, making a quick movement to reach something else…
- "Please..."
- "What?"
- "We need to talk."
- "Really?" he answers smiling but the joke dies fast in his lips when he realizes she seems serious. A year has been enough to know when to stop.
- "I don't think we should see each other anymore", says Hope, hurrying the words as it would hurt less in that way.
- "What are you fucking talking about?"
- "I have been thinking about it, and I think, is for the best."
- "Fuck you H! I thought we were doing great here!"
- "We are..."
- "Then! I don't understand"
- "Paul, where do you want to go with me?"
- Paul stares at her in disbelief, he has no idea what she's talking about, because she can't be doing this, she can't.
- "Where do I want to go with you? I don't have a fucking idea what are you fucking talking about?"
- "I want to have kids".
- "What?!!!!", he looks at her with wide eyes open and completely lost.
- "I want to have kids."
- "I thought you said you would never be ready for that!"
- "I know".
- "Then?"
- "I'm 42 Paul! I'm 42, I divorced 3 years ago and I'm sleeping with somebody of 29 who has no intention of maintain something serious with me! What's going to happen if I do mean it about the baby thing? What does gonna happen when I want more than just sex in some random city? Are we gonna be the whole life just catching each other in a hotel in Paris for 2 hours of sex and see you the next month or whenever we are in the same town? I know what I said, and I don't want kids now, but this is going to nowhere, I mean, you don't even can take me to some party, for God's sake!"
- "I thought you didn't care about that! You told me you were fine with it! I can take you, you know, is not like I'm interested in what the others have to say".
- "I know".
- "Then?"
- "Do you want a future with me?"
- "No, but you knew that since we met, and you never cared about, why now?"
- "Because I'm 42, just that."
- "You are just fucking insane Hope..."

He reaches his package of cigarettes and pulls out one, lost in his thoughts and without a single clue about how to fix this.

- "Do you care about me Paul?"
- "Of course I do H., I'm just not ready for having another relationship in my life, and you know how the last one ended."
- "Yeah, I know", she says with a sad smile in her face. She looks at him, his beautiful hair falling into his face, wet with transpiration, with those eyes so blue and so pale, and his smile…

She moves close to him and kisses him in the mouth, slowly, very slowly, trying to remember every detail of his lips; she doesn't want to forget him, never. She gets up the bed and starts looking for a robe.

- "What are you doing?"

- "Nothing, just go back to sleep, can I take your computer?"

- "Sure", says Paul, still unsure about how are the things between them.

Hope leaves the room and Paul smokes his cigarette trying to figure out what was that about. A few moments later, he hears a guitar and Hope starts singing, something that he hasn't heard before. He doubts for a moment and then leaves the bed, looks for his t-shirt and trousers and goes straight to the living room.

She's in the sofa, the guitar in her hands, recording in the computer with a little microphone. As usual, he's surprised, is amazing how that deep sexy burning voice can come out of such a little fragile body. Lost in contemplation, he watches her for what it seems like seconds or maybe hours, while she, with no effort at all, finishes the song and records a couple of takes.

Hope is so concentrated on her own; that she doesn't even realize Paul is there. Is just when she finishes the song that she feels his presence in the room, that deep sexy smell of his body filling her nostrils and thinks again about what she has to do. Maybe it would have been better if she would have gone to her own apartment instead of coming here, where she feels safe but also terrified and sad. Paul takes a sit next to her, watching her with love and admiration, big smile in his face.

- "How's that called?"
- "I still don't have a name", answers Hope, wishing that he would be far away from her, cause she knows she would do anything for him, she knows he can control her and she doesn't want him to know, she doesn't even want that to happen.
- "So, are we good?"
- "This is our last time Paul".

He somehow knew that would be her answer, sad and with the broken heart, but knowing he has nothing to offer her at the moment, he stares at the computer and then, slowly, very slowly, turns his head to kiss her. She receives his lips and thinks that this must be finished, that this is the last time, the goodbye. Then, she leans against the couch and opens her legs, thinking that still, she needs him, for one last time...